What more can I say? The title says it all. Everything can be summarized that way. Every time you work hard to get a reward, you find that it vanishes in front of you.
This doesn't necessarily means that you don't have to work hard. There are rewards, but they're usually really small compared with what you wanted. Right now, I feel like I deserve some rest. I passed everything at university last semester, and I did better than I expected, so what's my reward? A ton of extra work from the new lessons, exams already... I didn't even have time to draw nor read nor write as I planned, and I kinda wasted this month of premium membership. I've collected enough points to give myself another month, but I will save it for the summer, when I (hope) will have time to use it wisely. For now, I think this is my last journal as premium, so I'll try not to mess it up.
What was I saying? Yes, the cake. The point is, I kinda expected this to happen. I know myself really well and I knew I would take this way more than seriously. And I know I will do it again. The difference? I know what to expect this time. I'm ready and I won't ever quit. Capable or not, here I go! And what I want to say (I feel like I'm not making any sense) is that I've understood that my reward is that now I feel good with myself. Even though I'm tired, exhausted, angry once in a while... I know that I really did my best. And that means that I can do it again. So let's try. We're here to play, aren't we?
Okay, and about the commissions... yeah, I still plan to do them, but not right now. I am really busy, but whenever I feel that I can open them, I will. And about some drawing I owed... well, they're on the way, but don't expect them sometime soon.
I'll try not to disappear again, but I won't spend all day around here. Sometimes it will take me some time to answer the comments, or I won't submit new art for days/weeks. But I will be here, so don't despair. Be patient with me, 'kay?
See ya.